Recovering from Meltdowns During a Photo Shoot by Elizabeth Baron, LMHC
The big day is here and you want everything to go well. Deep Breath. You might be thinking, am I talking to you or to your children? We all know what the anticipation feels like before a special event, like a birthday party, a baby naming or baptism, a grandparent’s special celebration, or perhaps it’s a family photo shoot in Central Park. You have invested time, energy and a lot of money and you want the perfect shots. You arrive (maybe with extra fruit snacks in your back pocket for your toddler and a pacifier for your newborn) and, in spite of all your preparation, 3, 2, 1….. the meltdown erupts.
What to do?
Well, deep breath. A big one! First, for yourself. This will immediately help begin the co-regulation process with your child/children. We all know that being a calm and confident model for our family during these times is both overwhelming yet ultimately life-changing for managing meltdowns. We must keep our bodies and voices calm and begin to manage our own feelings of disappointment in these very stressful moments.
Next, try your very best to normalize the moment for your child, empathize and stay compassionate. You can use yourself and your voice as a tool too. This might sound something like, “You really want to be done with the photo shoot right now. Sometimes I get tired in these moments too. Let’s take a deep breath together. We’re almost done. We’re in this together.” Then, go in for a hug. If your child redirects better with silliness and movement than verbalizations, go for that.
If there’s a meltdown transitioning from the duck pond to the playground during the shoot, this does not mean your day (or your parenting) was a failure. As I frequently remind the women and families I work with in my private practice, it’s super important to remember that tantrums and meltdowns are not a reflection of your parenting. Please tell this to yourself prior to the photo shoot or big event. I know it’s hard to believe, but these challenging moments reflect healthy child development. We all need this reminder, especially during these long awaited photo shoot moments that can inherently add stress and pressure for parents.
Don’t forget…
The photo shoot is a snapshot (literally) of a few moments in your child’s life, and in your family’s lives. Keep this in mind whenever you see another family’s professional photos. They probably experienced the same kinds of moments that you did. Some beautiful and precious, and others excruciating and exhausting. Parenting is all about BOTH! Let’s normalize this so we can dial down the pressure we put on ourselves to obtain perfection. Not every single photo will be Instagram-worthy, but THAT is perfectly okay. In fact, looking back on the messy, meltdown moments can be just as meaningful as framing and hanging up the perfect photo in your home. So do your best to enjoy the experience and the memories you’re making. You won’t get that day back!
Bio
Elizabeth Baron is a NY State Licensed Mental Health Counselor and psychotherapist with a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from Columbia University’s Teachers College. Her primary clinical focus is maternal mental health – from preconception and pregnancy, through postpartum and parenting. Previously, she worked as a therapist at The Motherhood Center (TMC) of New York, where she developed her expertise in treating Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders. While at TMC, she also served as the Community Partnerships lead and worked to educate new and expecting mothers and clinical providers on the importance of maternal mental health. Today she provides individual therapy in her private practice, moderates several support groups, and offers webinars and educational talks to several different brands across the parenting space. Deeply committed to destigmatizing maternal mental health issues, she is passionate about helping women through all stages of motherhood. Elizabeth lives in NYC with her husband and is a mother of two young daughters.
Website: elizabethbaronlmhc.com
Instagram: @withelizabethb
