by Neha Ruch of Mother Untitled
Do you remember your first company headshot on a website? It was 2007, I loved how my hair looked. That was in my Audrey Hepburn phase. I lived in flats, a boat neck blouse, and skinny black pants. That was also in my Mad Men era when I drank the kool-aid (or something much stronger) and pulled overnights at my advertising agency and climbed the ranks. I looked the part but also I felt the part. And I wasn’t acting – I was happy to toil and thrive in the workplace in my twenties because there was little else pulling at my attention.
Flash forward, to one prestigious MBA and a fancy title later, I was over the politics and all I wanted was to feel comfortable. Not in the sense of what I was wearing but in how I was feeling. Despite the sleep deprivation and leaky boobs, that was what I found in those early months of motherhood. So I parted with my career path and leaned hard into family life. Ultimately, this led me to the revelation that the stay-at-home mother of 2016 was not the one clad in apron strings as we were made to believe. I started Mother Untitled as the first community empowering ambitious women on career breaks for family life when my first child turned one.
I had traded my skinny black pants for skinny black leggings, sitting criss cross applesauce at baby classes. But the conversations I had were as rich and even deeper than any I’d had in the workplace. I met women from a variety of industries and various stages of life and motherhood and suddenly I was doing the best networking I ever had because it came with the underlying connective thread: we were all doing the best we can.
Flash forward five years and I’ve just signed a book deal and grown our community to more than 100,000 women strong across our platform. None of this happened overnight but yet overnight I’m suddenly realizing I haven’t written a resume in over a decade. That feeling of suddenly being in rooms with men and women who never left the workforce can feel intimidating even for someone who spends her time reflecting and researching this exact dynamic. So here’s what helped both during and after my career pauses and shifts:
1. Imagine your ideal interviewer (if you’re re-entering the workforce) or website visitor (if you’re an entrepreneur or freelancer). What is important to them? Distill each sentence down to one word. Now think about yourself. What do you feel most proud of? Nothing is too big or small! Distill each sentence down to one word.
2. Now see which words are similar on the lists. This is what’s true on the inside of you that is resonant and relevant on the outside (for your ideal client, audience, or organization).
3. If you have two to three words (i.e. creative, connected, clear), start building an ongoing list in a Google doc of examples or anecdotes from your day-to-day in motherhood, community, and schools that illustrate these attributes. This helps you tell your story to interviewers but more importantly, to yourself.
4. Now, you get to look the part. What images do you have in your photo roll that convey the energy you’ve described above? What outfits do you have that make you feel this way?
5. I wish I could say get ready every day in this way but it’s just not realistic. Athleisure is versatile for the in-between of mom life! However, document the moments you look the part. If you can splurge for a photographer or even set up a half-hour shoot with five or six friends for a headshot mini-shoot. Don’t shy away from coupling this exercise with a family shoot: I did a personal branding mini-shoot twice with my own kids and Michelle Rose Photo in 2018 while I was planting the seeds for Mother Untitled and the photos are still some of my favorites because they capture me in the depths and joy of my own career pause for family life.
6. If you have one to two shots you love, update your LinkedIn profile and Instagram with these to present a positive, engaged, and relevant presence. Use it as a chance to also update bios to make sure it reflects where you are using powerful language. Our contributors have great advice on updating your resume while on a career break.
Most importantly, know that your time away from the traditional workforce does not mean you should count yourself out. If anything you have the opportunity to learn and grow outside of the traditional confines. Looking and presenting the part in this case isn’t about an office uniform but a reflective exercise that keeps you in the game.
Bio
Neha Ruch is on a mission to update the perception of stay-at-home motherhood in America, infusing it with ambition, dignity, growth, and potential. She established her independent media brand, Mother Untitled, in 2017 ,and has changed the cultural conversation through its website, weekly newsletter, live events, and daily social media posts. Neha is the author of a forthcoming book, The Power Pause with G.S. Putnam & Sons, an imprint of Penguin Random Home. Follow her @motheruntitled.
